BRANSON, MISSOURI: The FBI announced today that agents will begin arresting people for riverdancing, after the EPA said the practice was polluting rivers. "We'd been noticing a dramatic rise in pollutants in the nation's rivers for some time," said EPA spokeswoman Jilly Montange, "and we finally found the cause. It's riverdancing." FBI officers said dancers could face up to 15 years in prison.
On a similar note, cities across the nation have begun passing laws making breakdancing illegal. They said the practice was harming the otherwise respectable image of coffee, lunch, and restroom breaks.
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