Monday, April 23, 2007

President Bush to get Purple Heart [Updated]

No, that isn't the start of a joke. Oh wait, yes it is:

UPDATE: Hey! This is fun, but look over there! The long-needed investigation of Karl Rove has begun—but it needs a new chief investigator. I mean really!

Now back to the Purple Heart of Darkness.

History will be made today when Copperas Cove resident Bill Thomas and his wife, Georgia, present President George W. Bush with a Purple Heart at the Oval Office.

Thomas said he and his wife came up with the unprecedented idea to present the president with the Purple Heart over breakfast one morning a few months ago as they discussed the verbal attacks, both foreign and domestic, the commander in chief has withstood during his time in office.

Yeah, history's being made alright. Of the hammer-my-brain-to-mush-with-a-ten-pound-sledgehammer variety.

This is the latest strawberry on top of the Unendingly-Absurd Ridiculousnesses Regarding President George W. Bush Toxic Strawberry Sundae. Possibly rendering it the most absurd thing to ever exist in - or out - of this or any other possible alternate universe.

Now I want my Purple Heart for reading that story. My sense of reality is scarred for life.


Larry Epke said...

Maybe GWB will reciprocate and give Thomas one of those little bandaids with purple hearts on them that was such a big hit at the Republican Convention in 2004!

Dr Zaius said...

At first, I had assumed that the giver was being sarcastic and ironic, and that Bush's acceptance was just plain cluelessness. After reading that the vet was from Bush-worshipping, Kool Aid drinking Copperas Cove Texas, i sadly realized it was all true.