Saturday, August 11, 2007

The "War Czar" Can't Freaking Talk

You've probably heard that Bush's inanely-appointed "War Czar," Lt. General Douglas Lute, says we may need a draft to fill all the fun spots created by the Never-Ending War on Everything that Could Possibly Make Rich People Mountains of Even More Money.

I couldn't care less what that nitwit thinks - there ain't gonna be a draft. For obvious reasons. But I would like to point to some of the WAZAH!'S comments:

“I think it makes sense to certainly consider it,” Army Lt. Gen. Douglas Lute said in an interview with National Public Radio’s “All Things Considered.”

It makes sense to certainly consider it? Rather than uncertainly consider it? Did you mean to say, "It certainly makes sense to consider it?" Cuz if you did, that's what you should have said. It would have made you appear to possess at least the possibility of intelligence. You're the WAZAH!, after all. I don't think that's asking too much.

And I can tell you, this has always been an option on the table.

OWWW! Stop that! It's an "option on the table"? That's a redundancy and a cliché. That's two crimes in one. It's a redundanché. (Are we gonna give it 110% of everything we've got, too?)

But ultimately, this is a policy matter between meeting the demands for the nation’s security by one means or another.

Oh dear Lord. What you meant to say is that any discussion regarding our nation's security should by necessity include the subject of the draft. Or something along those lines. But you couldn't do that, either because a) you're too dumb, or b) you're concentrating so hard on b1.) not sounding like an idiot (you failed), and b2.) evading, distorting, and distracting people from the fact that you're attempting to evade, distort, and distract people. Or both.

But wait! there's more!

There's both a personal dimension of this, where this kind of stress plays out across dinner tables and in living room conversations within these families, and ultimately, the health of the all-volunteer force is going to rest on those sorts of personal family decisions.

... yeah? ... we're waiting ... you said "both" ... it was the second word in the sentence(!!) ... I'm pretty sure you didn't mean both the "dinner tables" and the "living rooms" - that wouldn't make sense!!! ... ("stress plays out across dinner tables"?) ... ("a personal dimension of this" - is that really what he said?) ... oh screw it. I'm leaving ...

Our War Czar can't talk. Or think, apparently. I think P-Bushy may have found his double.

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