Loudon Wainwright: New Paint

If you're not familiar with the old Loud'O - and you really should be - this is a really nice song/story to be introduced with. And, uh, watch out: at about 3 minutes 30 seconds in somebody really close to the camera coughs. Scared the crap out of me.

At the station you can meet her
With that smile you couldn't cheat her
A woman that kind is hard to find
It's good to take a girl
In the not so very good world
And walk in the park until it gets dark
Sometimes I feel ugly and old
Excuse me baby if I'm acting bold
My head gets hot but my feet aren't cold
Excuse me if you will

Take a breather on a bench
Helps to build up the suspense
Then the two of you go to a movie show
If she's woman there's a chance
That she maybe likes to dance
So you go to the hall and you out step em all
Don't make a hullabaloo I'm not the hoipaloi
I'm try any trick and I'll pull any ploy
I'm a used up twentieth century boy
Excuse me if you will

She takes you home to meet the folks
Laughing at the fathers jokes
Shall we watch TV, it's all right with me
Time to go you're going to miss her
In the doorway try to kiss her
Oh it tastes so good, like you hoped it would
If I was 16 again I'd give my eyetooth
I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'm looking for my youth
I'm a little uncool and I'm a little uncouth
Oh excuse me yes excuse me if you will

At the station you can meet her
With that smile you couldn't cheat her
A woman that kind is hard to find