We're So Sorry Our Son Banged Your Wife: Here's $96,000

But please don't think of it as $96,000. Think of it as $12,000 from each of Senator John Ensign's parents to the woman Ensign had an affair with, her husband, and each of their two kids. That's $48,000 from mom and dad each.

And don't think of it as a tax burden, because $12,000 is the legal limit that someone can give to another person without that person incurring taxes.

And don't think of it as hush money! It's just the kind of people we are. We care about people like you. And we regularly give checks for $12,000 to the families of people like you. Especially when our (married) son (who's a senator) bangs them inappropriately.

I shit you not.